um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
