were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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