He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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