u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
