She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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