Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
