I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
