Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
accomplished twins. life is a go
Princesses don't give blow jobs
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
