Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
