do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
