duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
