my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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