Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
