The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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