and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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