didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I smell like Dick and happiness
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
