you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I pour the whiskey from now on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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