The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And then my night got REAL pukey
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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