My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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