She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
