ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i will never coherently bang her
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
