Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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