I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
