haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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