I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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