Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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