well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
