Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
