How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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