i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
