He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
