i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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