Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's blow job season.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
