his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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