People with herpes should wear stickers.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
