Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
