So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
