Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
