No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
