He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
