So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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