its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
