The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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