giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
