my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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