My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
