the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
