Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Text me some of your sweat
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
