8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
this will be a night to untag.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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