dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
